A Look at the Loo

I suppose I'll have to label some posts as "rants" about things in general. Fer chrissakes, how does one get through a day without at least one stream of expletives directed at someone or something idiotic? One of my favorite websites, the BBC, has great news and sports, but also celebrity bits of astonishing silliness. The latest Hollywood Hipster to speak out on Important Issues is the lovely and talented Ms. Sheryl Crow, who is concerned about the amount of time the hoi polloi spend wiping their arses. Or, more precisely, the amount of paper we use. Crow has suggested using "only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required". I can say from this moment forward that I will happily use less TP in the loo, and substitute instead Ms. Crow's CD liners. I'm sure she has a few thousand laying about that can be shipped up my way. At least I can promise Cheryl I'll think of her when I'm wiping the brown gunk off. I know I'm supposed to be glad, grateful even, that a famous wealthy person cares about global warming, especially when El Presidente pretends it isn't real, but gimme a break. Has any one of CC's handlers, minions, toadies, personal assistants, studio reps, lawyers, agents or (gasp) FRIENDS suggested to her that she looks and sounds like an IDIOT when she talks about freaking toilet paper? Look honey, if you want to help, do some real work. Or shut your mouth and open your checkbook and pay people who will.